One essential quality of a healthy marriage is friendship. And one of the simplest ways friendship shows is listening to each other with understanding, not advice. When your relationship feels emotionally safe, you can be honest about what hurts, what's hard, and what you don't yet have figured out. In those types of conversations, the goal isn't always a solution. Often, the goal is connection. One key skill that protects that kind of friendship is empathic listening, withou

We all experience anger. And if you're feeling ashamed of it lately, you're not alone. Whether it's in fights or emotional distance, anger can leave both of you feeling wounded afterward. Understanding what's behind the anger helps with expressing it better. Anger, left unchecked, is an overpowering presence that will sit over your relationship like a storm cloud. You both see the dark clouds. You feel the wind picking up and know the storm is coming. It's only a matter of ti

In distressed relationships, couples tend to hold a negative perspective of each other. Consider Marcus on his way to work, feeling somewhat stressed and distracted, thinking about how his partner, Tina, slept in instead of going to her workout, and interprets it as laziness. He's thinking about the dirty plate she left on the counter instead of putting it in the sink, and interprets it as her not caring. "What's going on with her lately?" he mumbles. His negative thoughts gr

In marriage counseling, the most common issue I hear is not that couples don't care. It's that they don't know how to communicate when emotions run high. For good reason, it's a cornerstone of successful relationships and marriages. Prioritizing open, honest, and empathetic communication lays the foundation for a solid and lasting marriage. It's exhausting to argue in circles and equally exhausting to fall into mutual silence because you lack confidence in your communication