Rekindling Passion in Your Marriage: 7 Ways to Reignite the Spark

At times, passion in a marriage is categorized under the “honeymoon phase” of a relationship. The thought is that the longer you’re married, the more it becomes about duty and responsibility. It’s less about “feelings” and more about “commitment.”

But passion and connection are often what keep a marriage feeling alive. As life happens, the spark can fade a little. That's normal. Life takes a toll on relationships. 

Passion in your relationship won’t be as effortless as when you first met. However, effort and intentionality will help rekindle the flame and find passion again. And when I say passion, I don't mean just sex; I mean closeness, playfulness, desire, and feeling drawn to each other.

If you're looking for ways to rekindle passion in your marriage, you're not alone.

Prioritize Quality Time 

If your life looks anything like most couples I work with, you're grabbing your cup of coffee and rushing out of the house, late again because your toddler had a meltdown over the unacceptable red shirt you picked out.

I can almost feel your 'please don't tell me date night' stare through the screen. I can hear you thinking, "with what time and energy," as you finally lie down, exhausted because work has drained every ounce of energy you have.

I get it! But this truth remains: in the chaos of busy schedules and responsibilities, finding dedicated quality time for each other is essential. Rediscovering and reconnecting with each other has to be intentional.

You may have to renegotiate what quality time means based on the season of life you’re in. Weekly date nights may not be possible. But what is possible?! Have that conversation.

Whatever it looks like, protecting that time sends the message to your partner that they’re valued and the relationship matters.

Prioritize Physical Intimacy

Physical intimacy and passion in marriage go hand in hand. Talk openly about what feels good, what you miss, and what you'd like more of. Start at a level that feels safe for both of you, and share what you enjoy and what you're curious about. Stay open to hearing your spouse, too.

This helps define physical intimacy as mutual pleasure, not just intercourse. Many couples reconnect faster (and it's safer) when they stop making intimacy all-or-nothing.

Small steps count here. It doesn't need to be a huge change that happens overnight.

Rediscovering passion and excitement is influenced by experimenting with different forms of touch and exploring new ways to experience physical intimacy.

Practice Vulnerable Communication

Couples who feel emotionally connected know each other’s inner world. Staying emotionally open keeps you in touch with your partner’s deepest longings, dreams, and fears. 

Allowing yourself to be vulnerable helps rekindle the passion that has waned over time. Additionally, reflective listening says, "I care about what this is like for you." When you listen well, you're showing genuine interest in their experience.

Practicing vulnerable communication and reigniting the spark isn't about perfection; it's about an honest effort.

Rediscover Shared Interests

Sometimes it's rediscovering shared interests. Sometimes it's finding new ones. Either way, the busier your lives get, the more shared interests and hobbies are unintentionally on the back burner. They become background noise to the “business” of marriage.

As the headline suggests, rediscovering shared interests and experiences rekindles your flame. It may be learning a new sport together, like tennis, signing up for dance lessons, or visiting a museum. Maybe it's working out, cooking, exploring new places, hiking, or riding bicycles.

Pursuing common interests revitalizes the emotional connection and adds depth to how you see and feel about each other. Shared interests often get buried under responsibilities.

Embrace Novelty and Spontaneity

I get it; you’re a planner. But routine can sometimes throw cold water on the sparks of reconnecting. Planners everywhere just got really quiet.

Reigniting the spark comes with switching up the norm.

Surprise each other with unexpected gestures, outings, and small gifts. It doesn’t have to be a big production. Small things go a long way. Keep it simple, for now.

“Be ready at 7. Dress (casual, athletic, elegant…) We’re going out.”

Breaking away from the ordinary adds a sense of adventure. It allows you to experience each other in fresh, exciting, and (maybe) unfamiliar ways. 

Express Love and Appreciation 

Expressing love and appreciation can’t be underestimated. Verbalize your affection and gratitude. Compliment your partner. Small gestures, like leaving love notes and sweet texts that say, “I’m thinking about you,” can go a long way toward reigniting the flame.

Small daily choices to be gentle, kind, and thoughtful create an environment that nourishes emotional connection. It builds the kind of positive foundation that makes it easier to assume the best about each other.

Prioritize Self-Care

This one is often forgotten about. Taking care of yourself is essential for rekindling passion in your marriage. Bringing your best self to the relationship is influenced by attending to your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health.

It facilitates a healthier dynamic and encourages your spouse to do the same. Either way, paying attention to yourself is inherently paying attention to the relationship.

Final Thoughts

Start small. One intentional shift this week can help reignite the spark. Reigniting the spark in your marriage is possible. Yes, it takes work and commitment, but having the healthy and satisfying marriage you want is worth it.

Passion isn't lost forever; it often reappears when emotional connection and everyday closeness are prioritized.